That’s not my word for it. Some guy who knows a lot more than me about national security, intelligence and privacy made up the term security theater to refer to the stuff that currently goes on at airports. It’s security the way that stage performances are life: that is to say, only in appearances.
I know everyone who travels by plane has one, but here’s my most recent ridiculous experience, for your reading pleasure. (Just in case anyone thought that I was too happy out here to still be using my brain, here’s evidence to the contrary.)
I almost never carry on. I’m totally a girl scout at heart, so I have a serious tendency to over-pack (thanks, mom!), and therefore get to check all of my gels and liquids. This time, it was a long weekend where I wouldn’t be required to wear anything other than a bathing suit and pajamas, so I decided to travel light. I made a special trip to the drug store to buy unbelievably over priced mini-toothpaste, deodorant, and small empties for my other necessary liquids and gels. I was so diligent.
Now, I know the 3-1-1 rule. I know that all of my 3 ounce-or-less containers are supposed to be in one plastic quart-sized ziplock bag. We don’t keep those around the house, so I figured if it was a deal-breaker, they’d have to give me one.
Seattle to San Jose: Uneventful. I took my toiletry bag, containing 3 ounce-or-less liquids and gels, toothbrush, ponytail holders, etc., and sent it through the big machine. The uniform nodded and smiled. Hoorah.
San Jose to Seattle: Though I did exactly the same thing on the return trip, my experience was quite different. This time, the nice girl (I know she doesn’t make the rules, it’s not her fault. Fine.) decides that what needs to happen is that the 3 ounces-or-less containers need to go through the x-ray machine again, in the comfort of a plastic bag. Which means I have two options–I can schlep all my stuff through a second time, or I can leave all my stuff with Matt, and take only my plastic bag of gels and liquids and my boarding pass and do a second cattle-call barefoot through everyone else’s cooties.
Seriously? Seriously. I have absolutely NO clue what benefit could possibly come from putting me through this. Everything was clearly available for them to see. The presence of the plastic bag does not reveal a hidden danger. The line is not getting shorter.
From a teaching perspective, I wonder if maybe this practice is to condition travelers to follow the policy. If you don’t have your baggie, you’ll be punished in order to encourage you to follow the rules next time? Awesome.
So, the obvious problems with this are that when security practices are inconsistent, that’s nearly the same as ineffective. Besides that, this go-back-and-do-it-right mentality is irrational, and as a result infuriating. NO ONE’s baggie is going to prevent a plane from going down, and these kinds of security measures are never going to prevent what we’re afraid of because they’re all reacting, rather than anticipating. The bad guys are one step ahead of us, and we’re wasting time trying to thwart last year’s attack.
Ironically, I had a pair of very sharp scissors in my bag as well, though no one asked to see those.
I’m a good kid, and I love my country so much that I go out of my way to educate myself about its decision-makers and decisions, but this is just so stupid.
UPDATE 9/18/07: OMG read this guy’s blog he brought a box cutter on the plane, but they took his coffee away. Includes pictures!
Also, I swear I will write something light and fluffy and fun and interesting today. I promise I will.
