I couldn’t work this afternoon. Sometimes you hit a wall, and today my wall was about 2:30. Rather than fester in a lack of productivity at work, I decided to make the call and achieve productivity elsewhere, so I went home to continue unpacking.
Today, it’s trying to get the office set up, which means unpacking the boxes of professional teaching texts, grad school papers and other things that I will need to keep handy in the case that I actually decide to finish my thesis and my MA. But that’s not what I want to talk about.
I also found a box containing all of the stage manager’s scripts for shows that I had worked on. Not only scripts, but all of the cards, programs, photos, and other memorabilia from that time in my life. It was amazing to sift through it all and be bombarded by memories of friends and loves, drama both performed and lived.
Turns out there was one guy who thought I would be good at something, so he gave me the opportunity to do it (not unlike my current job, it turns out). The guy was Amir, that show was Assassins, and I was the painfully underqualified stage manager, trying to make up for my lack of experience with hard work and charm. And that’s pretty much what I did. The experience of watching that script, those actors, and that black box of a room being transformed is one that I will always feel honored to have. It was magical, friends, magical. Like falling in love, or visiting your favorite place, or just having a really good day, it is the kind of magic makes you want to do it again.
Though not every cast, not every director, not every crew makes something magic, there is something about the pursuit of it that is compelling. I worked a full time job in accounting and administration during the day, only to be able to maintain my theater habit. I stage managed eight shows over the course of just over two years. I am fairly certain that there was a six-week period when I didn’t actually see my roommate because my schedule was so ridiculous and demanding. But I was young, and exhaustion meant little.
Some day, I will write a post about the actual musical Assassins, in order to defend my irrational fascination with people who tried to kill American presidents. Maybe I’ll write about some of the other shows I did, too. Some day, I will write a post about my experience working for Jeopardy! and the hardest promise I will never get to break. Today, though, I’m struck by the resounding passion I still have for these things, though they are so far from where I am now.
