For as long as I can remember dreaming, I can remember knowing what my dreams were about. All it ever took was one retelling of the events (in my head or to someone else), and nearly all was revealed. I have said that my subconscious just isn’t that far below the surface, because I tend to keep very few secrets from myself.
Last night in my dreams I got to relive getting fired. There were exactly three things about this version that were different from the actual thing.
First, the setting was different. Same boss, same job, same firing, but this time, the setting was an expansive, dark, modern office building. There were offices with glass walls, dark ceilings and brightly colored furniture. Pretty rad office actually, but it was a maze to me. The glass made sure that there were no identifying marks to help me find my way, and the many desks had people at them that I did not know.
Second, instead of being yanked out of the middle of the project I was working on, this time I was expected to complete a list of deliverables. I have a clear picture in my head of a Word document with its default Times New Roman font, a list of documents and reports, all but two of them with Xs in the left margin. The two without Xs were in boldface, and I remember several encounters with my former boss (henceforth known as FB) where he was insisting that I provide these items immediately. I provided reasons why I simply could not provide these things (I no longer had access to the file, I was waiting for some information from someone else, etc.), and he simply would not accept any of them. When his continued insistence was no longer rational, I conceded in fear.
The third difference was the best. As I went from FB’s office to attempt to do that which I knew to be undoable, I found I had an ally. My girl Bronwyn was there, in the office, and somehow empowered to help me. We looked at the list, split it up, and spent some time troubleshooting the outstanding deliverables in an attempt to pacify FB. She didn’t ever encounter him, and she might well have been a figment inside my figment, but it didn’t matter.
So, that’s what I think of my experience being fired. Boss: unreasonable; Friends: awesome. As for being unemployed, I confess I’m sort of looking forward to a couple of weeks of doing my own thing. I know the trouble with unemployment is what comes (or doesn’t come) after those first couple of weeks, so for now, I’m going to continue to postpone worrying about it.